where hope grows... introduction

This blog is about my life, my journeys and my struggles. It will be filled with hope. It will be filled with love. It will be filled with strength. It will be filled with courage and challenge.

This is a new experience for me. It is my hope that this forum will provide a space where I can self reflect, and perhaps, if it seems interesting enough to someone out there on the infinite internet, connect.

Writing down ones thought, feelings and anything really helps people to feel more accountable and truthful to themselves. It helps people to decipher and clarify these thoughts and it works as a method of counselling. For myself, this type of writing can be embarrassing and frightful. It is for these reasons that I am doing this blog, to try something new, to have a new experience, to see what can come of it, to conquer a fear, to Learn.






Tuesday, January 24, 2012

How Quickly Things Can Change... Anger

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. -Albert Einstein

Last week at this time I was sitting where I am now. In my living room with the TV on doing homework, I was sipping on tea, chatting with my husband, thinking about what tomorrow would bring. I was very Happy.

Today I am sitting on my couch, homework in my lap but I can not focus on it. It is due tomorrow. I suppose it will be a long night. My husband is in the basement, I assume he is still down there trying to avoid me.

Yesterday I asked him to pick up my brother, who doesn't have a licence, from the hospital, he clearly did not want to and responded by getting angry and went to bed. When I went to bed he did not acknowledge me or say good night.

 Last night was the first time I went to bed without saying good night to him. The first time in three years.

Today I am angry. Today I am upset. Today has been a bad day.

I am angry.

Last week I was happy. Last week I was focused on school. Last week I made a change in my lifestyle, a healthy change.

This week I feel tired. I feel weak. I feel angry. I feel sad.

The stresses which have entered into my life in one week have greatly altered me. They have changed my life, but really for how long? How long will it take before this is all over?

I am angry. 

I thought maybe I should start yoga, but with a job, school and a mother in the hospital that just wont happen.

So I sit in my spot, on my couch, with my tea, my husband in the basement and my head somewhere else and I wonder what next week will bring.

I hope it is strength.

I hope it is courage.

I hope it is peace.

I hope it is not anger. 




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