Empathy.
People chose to be
empathetic or not. I personally believe that it takes great energy to be
empathetic. I also believe that some people just do not have the ability, they
do not have a mind that will allow them to see other peoples perspectives or to
be understanding of others. Some people are just not empathetic.
As a teacher I feel that it is
a very valuable and extremely important trait to carry. I have collegues who do
not demonstrate empathy towards students, they judge them, they accuse them and
they are worse teachers for that.
Today I have struggled with
empathy. I have struggled when trying to be understanding, when trying to see
it from other peoples point of views. I take pride in the fact that I am
willing to wait, to think, to try and understand someone elses point of view. I
take pride in the fact that I have empathy skills, I feel for my students, I
feel for strangers who are rude to me, to people who do not tip when I
waitress, I feel for those people. I wonder about them. I always think what
could be going on in their lives to make them act this way towards me. I
realize that it is not about me.
But today empathy had become hard work.
But today empathy had become hard work.
I am sitting in the hospital.
Saturday there was supposed to be surgery- did not happen.
Sunday nothing. Fine. Today,
Monday, there was supposed to be a biopsy an MRI, several tests. It is now 11
am, and nothing.
Empathy.
The surgeon came in. At least
that is who I assume he was because he did not introduce himself or why he was
there. A smaller girl was with him, and she went over the “case” gave him all
of the details. When my mother’s last surgeries were, why she was here, the
problems she was having.
When he had heard all of this
he sat on my mother’s bed and lifted her shirt to feel for “something.” Her
scarred and disfigured abdomen was presented. Four surgeries. Four levels of
scarring. Four times where they had to use staples to close that area of her
body.
He then asked a few questions
and said, yes this is bit of a enigma. Said he was going to go look at the
tests already done, the cat scan, whatever else they had done and left, the
small girl following behind like a puppy.
He was gone. We knew nothing.
All we can do is wait.
Empathy.
It was something like a scene
from Greys Anatomy coming into the hospital today. I was in the elevator with
several different “students” one who dropped her pager and giggled that it
would hard to get it to stay on. They were all clearly very excited to be here.
Everyone else in the elevator did not have the same sentiments. Everyone else
in the elevator was not happy to be there. I was shocked by their lack of ... lack of i
don’t know.. lack of realization... lack of empathy... lack of understanding...
just lacking.
The greys Anatomy scenes
continued throughout the day, young students all smiles and chatting. When i
went down to the cafeteria I saw the large and impressive surgeon sitting
chatting on his cell phone while my mother was upstairs. Waiting. Waiting.
Waiting.
Empathy
But then I thought, maybe he
was chatting on the phone about my mother. He did say it was a bit of an enigma.
Maybe he was consulting someone. Still the smile on his face while he was one
the phone was not helping me convince myself. Not helping me to believe the
reason he was there, smiling was because he was working. Working to help my
mother.
1:32. pm
The MRI was supposed to happen
at 8am. They just came to ask us to fill out some forms so she can start to go
down, or the least be on the list.
Empathy.
Empathy.
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